Hit the Reset Button? What does that even mean?
Hitting the reset button means giving yourself permission to let go of the past, “start fresh,” and move forwards. You are choosing to release yourself from any shame, criticism, or negative feelings you have towards yourself.
Disclaimer Alert!
I DO believe it is important to hold ourselves accountable. We ought to take ownership and responsibility over our choices and actions. We ought to evaluate how we are doing and identify our areas for improvement. We ought to challenge ourselves to perform at a high level in all aspects of our lives. (Coach can help us with that).
We ought to acknowledge our strengths, efforts, and accomplishments as well… Something which the "inner-critic" rarely does.
Okay, so… Hit the Reset Button?
Yes! In my experience as a therapist working mostly with young adults and some teenagers, I have found that my clients tend to be quite hard on themselves. Some may tend to make excuses, deflect responsibility, and play the “victim” card… but that is by far the exception.
Most people I see (and therefore, I assume most people in general, and probably YOU too) tend to have an overly active “inner-critic” that contributes to things like stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
I will be using “We” from now on… because I am certainly included in all of this: Let's keep it real: We have made mistakes. We have been procrastinating… a lot (who hasn’t?). Perhaps we have not been living in alignment with our “optimal” way of living. We haven’t followed through on those things that we told ourselves we would do (eating healthier, exercising more, being productive, etc.). We could do better.
There is always room for improvement, and perhaps there has never been a better time than now to hit the “Reset Button,” start fresh, and move forward!
LET IT GO.
When we hold onto our negative feelings about how we’ve been functioning in life, we add fuel to the fire of shame. Shame pushes us towards a state of depression, avoidance, and self-soothing behaviors such as eating unhealthy foods, scrolling on IG and TikTok, and watching TV. The “inner-critic” makes it difficult to take useful action steps to better ourselves or our situation.
Let’s let that past stuff go. Let’s get clear on what adjustments we want to make, connect with “Coach” (try writing down what “coach says”), and then hit the Reset Button!
…AND, If we fail to execute the new gameplan or it does not work for some reason… then let’s evaluate what happened, hit the Reset Button again if we need to… and carry onwards! Rinse and repeat.
How do I know when to hit the “Reset Button?”
Great question! I’m glad you asked ;). As a rule of thumb, ask yourself these two questions:
Have I learned from the situation?
Do I know what adjustments to make in order to move forward more effectively?
If the answer to both questions is YES then it is time to take those lessons with you, and move on!
“Anxiety” and “Critic” might make that difficult. They create a sense of panic that tells you that where you are in life currently is not okay.
I would like to remind you that your current position in life IS okay. It is a perfect place to start right now.
Let go of the need to have it all figured out. Your only task for today is to engage in some action-steps that align with your intentions. If you do this, then you are doing the best you can, right?
Clarify the direction in which you’d like to be headed, choose one (or a few) action steps... and start chipping away at your bigger & broader goals. Now you are moving towards achieving your purpose… so you ought to have permission to feel good about yourself, no?
Okay, I’ll end it there for now. I hope that helps.
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-Sam